{"title":"Funny Zone","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-byt-flop-the-goats-mens-t-shirt-black-front-print","title":"Funny Goat T-Shirt – Flop the Goats","description":"\u003cp\u003eFunny goat T-shirt featuring the “Flop the Goats” absurd dark-humour graphic, printed on a Gildan Heavy Cotton G5000 unisex tee, available in Black, Fan Marine Green and Dark Heather.\u003cbr\u003eA deliberately ridiculous design featuring goats being launched from a cliff toward a tiny boat below — because apparently normal goat behaviour wasn’t chaotic enough.\u003cbr\u003eThe artwork uses a simple monochrome illustration and distressed white typography, giving it a clean, bold look that reads instantly on black fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlop the Goats is built around dry, absurd humour rather than a detailed illustration.\u003cbr\u003eThe design features:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- bold distressed FLOP THE GOATS lettering\u003cbr\u003e- minimalist white line-art illustration\u003cbr\u003e- goats, a cliff and a tiny rescue boat\u003cbr\u003e- black-and-white colour palette\u003cbr\u003e- intentionally ridiculous visual humour\u003cbr\u003e- clean centre-chest composition\u003cbr\u003eNo context.\u003cbr\u003eNo explanation.\u003cbr\u003eJust flop the goats.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black, Fan Marine Green and Heather\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton (Dark Heather: 50% cotton \/ 50% polyester)\u003cbr\u003e- 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted fashion shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering. Measurements are provided in centimetres and inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack only.\u003cbr\u003eThe solid black fabric gives the white illustration and lettering maximum contrast, keeping the joke clear and readable without unnecessary colour or visual clutter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the distressed lettering and fine line-art details to reproduce directly into the fabric without the heavy feel of a large vinyl transfer.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eThe goats have already been through enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check Etsy’s estimated delivery dates before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFlop the Goats is an original Bite Your Tongue concept built around absurd visual humour, minimal illustration and a deliberately unexplained punchline.\u003cbr\u003eThe artwork was developed specifically as a simple, highly readable T-shirt graphic rather than a complex poster-style composition.\u003cbr\u003eAI-assisted creative tools form part of our design process, alongside concept development, art direction, selection, refinement, correction and final preparation for print.\u003cbr\u003eEach finished artwork is developed as part of the Bite Your Tongue catalogue rather than uploaded as an unedited stock graphic.\u003cbr\u003eBITE YOUR TONGUE\u003cbr\u003eWear what you think.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bite Your Tongue","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":59162330562824,"sku":"GD05-BLK-S","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":59162330595592,"sku":"GD05-BLK-M","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":59162330628360,"sku":"GD05-BLK-L","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":59162330661128,"sku":"GD05-BLK-XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":59162330693896,"sku":"GD05-BLK-2XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":59162330726664,"sku":"GD05-BLK-3XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":59162330759432,"sku":"GD05-BLK-4XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":59162330792200,"sku":"GD05-BLK-5XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fan Marine Green \/ Small","offer_id":59162330824968,"sku":"GD05-FMGR-S","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fan Marine Green \/ Medium","offer_id":59162330857736,"sku":"GD05-FMGR-M","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fan Marine Green \/ Large","offer_id":59162330890504,"sku":"GD05-FMGR-L","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fan Marine Green \/ X-Large","offer_id":59162330923272,"sku":"GD05-FMGR-XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fan Marine Green \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":59162330956040,"sku":"GD05-FMGR-2XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather \/ 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5X-Large","offer_id":59162331218184,"sku":"GD05-DHE-5XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1072\/6866\/9704\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_23_Sept_2026_20_44_36-1.png?v=1793740506"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-byt-britannia-sun-never-sets-master-print-ready","title":"British Empire Satire T-Shirt – The Sun Never Sets","description":"\u003cp\u003eBritish Empire satire T-shirt featuring “The Sun Never Sets on the British Empire – Neither Does It Shine”, printed on a black Gildan Heavy Cotton G5000 unisex tee.\u003cbr\u003eA darkly comic take on one of history’s most recognisable imperial phrases — with a very British weather problem added to the equation.\u003cbr\u003eThe ornate artwork combines Britannia-inspired imagery, a lion, Union flag shield, crown and golden heraldic details with one extremely unimpressed rain cloud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis artwork features:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- bold “THE SUN NEVER SETS ON THE BRITISH EMPIRE” lettering\u003cbr\u003e- “NEITHER DOES IT SHINE” punchline\u003cbr\u003e- Britannia-inspired seated figure\u003cbr\u003e- lion and Union flag shield\u003cbr\u003e- crown and heraldic gold detailing\u003cbr\u003e- storm cloud, umbrella and rain\u003cbr\u003e- vintage ornamental composition\u003cbr\u003e- dark British history humour\u003cbr\u003eThe joke riffs on the familiar phrase associated with the British Empire and turns it into a particularly British complaint about the weather.\u003cbr\u003eHistory, imperial grandeur and relentless drizzle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted fashion shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis version is printed on Black, giving the gold, cream, blue and red elements of the artwork strong contrast while keeping the overall design dark and vintage-inspired.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the lettering, ornamental details, figure, lion, shield and weather elements to reproduce clearly.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eThe sun may never set.\u003cbr\u003eThe washing machine still has rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the estimated delivery date at checkout before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Sun Never Sets – Neither Does It Shine is an original Bite Your Tongue concept combining historical satire, British weather humour and ornate vintage-inspired illustration.\u003cbr\u003eThe design takes a familiar historical phrase and gives it a deliberately dry, modern punchline through rain-soaked Britannia imagery and exaggerated imperial styling.\u003cbr\u003eAI-assisted creative tools form part of our design process, alongside concept development, art direction, selection, refinement, correction and final preparation for print.\u003cbr\u003eEach finished artwork is developed as part of the Bite Your Tongue catalogue rather than uploaded as an unedited stock graphic.\u003cbr\u003eBITE YOUR TONGUE\u003cbr\u003eWear what you think.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bite Your Tongue","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":59162347438344,"sku":"GD05-BLK-S","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":59162347471112,"sku":"GD05-BLK-M","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":59162347503880,"sku":"GD05-BLK-L","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":59162347536648,"sku":"GD05-BLK-XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":59162347569416,"sku":"GD05-BLK-2XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":59162347602184,"sku":"GD05-BLK-3XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":59162347634952,"sku":"GD05-BLK-4XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":59162347667720,"sku":"GD05-BLK-5XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1072\/6866\/9704\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_27_Sept_2026_10_51_16.png?v=1793740369"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-byt-i-said-i-do-not-dishes-black-tee-final-4500x6750","title":"Funny Marriage T-Shirt – I Said I Do, Not Dishes","description":"\u003cp\u003eFunny marriage T-shirt featuring the “I Said I Do, Not Dishes” sarcastic relationship design, printed on a black Gildan Heavy Cotton G5000 unisex tee.\u003cbr\u003eGetting married involved vows, rings and commitment.\u003cbr\u003eNobody said anything about the dishes.\u003cbr\u003eA bold relationship-humour graphic for anyone who takes “I do” very literally and household chores considerably less seriously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis artwork features:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- bold “I SAID I DO. NOT DISHES.” lettering\u003cbr\u003e- cheeky raised middle finger\u003cbr\u003e- wedding ring detail\u003cbr\u003e- overflowing stack of dirty dishes\u003cbr\u003e- cups, plates and cutlery\u003cbr\u003e- black, white and soft pink accents\u003cbr\u003e- hand-drawn distressed graphic styling\u003cbr\u003e- sarcastic marriage and household humour\u003cbr\u003eRomantic commitment: yes.\u003cbr\u003eDishwashing commitment: absolutely not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted women’s shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis version is printed on Black, giving the white lettering, illustrated dishes and soft pink details strong contrast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the distressed typography, hand illustration and smaller dish details to reproduce clearly.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eYou said “I do.”\u003cbr\u003eYou still don’t have to do the dishes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the estimated delivery date at checkout before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI Said I Do, Not Dishes is an original Bite Your Tongue concept combining marriage humour, domestic sarcasm and bold hand-drawn styling.\u003cbr\u003eThe design plays on the wording of traditional wedding vows by turning “I do” into a very selective commitment — marriage included, dishes excluded.\u003cbr\u003eAI-assisted creative tools form part of our design process, alongside concept development, art direction, selection, refinement, correction and final preparation for print.\u003cbr\u003eEach finished artwork is developed as part of the Bite Your Tongue catalogue rather than uploaded as an unedited stock graphic.\u003cbr\u003eBITE YOUR TONGUE\u003cbr\u003eWear what you think.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bite Your Tongue","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":59162735018248,"sku":"GD05-BLK-S","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":59162735051016,"sku":"GD05-BLK-M","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":59162735083784,"sku":"GD05-BLK-L","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":59162735116552,"sku":"GD05-BLK-XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":59162735149320,"sku":"GD05-BLK-2XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":59162735182088,"sku":"GD05-BLK-3XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":59162735214856,"sku":"GD05-BLK-4XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":59162735247624,"sku":"GD05-BLK-5XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1072\/6866\/9704\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_27_Sept_2026_11_11_55-1.png?v=1793739422"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-byt-straight-as-bad-decisions-master-6000px-300dpi-transparent","title":"Funny Student T-Shirt – Straight A's in Bad Decisions","description":"\u003cp\u003eFunny student T-shirt featuring the “Straight A’s in Bad Decisions” sarcastic school graphic, printed on a Gildan Heavy Cotton G5000 unisex tee, available in Black, White and Light Pink.\u003cbr\u003eA loud alternative-school design for anyone whose academic potential is considerably better than their decision-making. Punk styling, cheer chaos, bad grades and a report card nobody is framing.\u003cbr\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003cbr\u003eThis artwork features:\u003cbr\u003e- bold “STRAIGHT A’S IN BAD DECISIONS” lettering\u003cbr\u003e- alternative punk \/ goth student character\u003cbr\u003e- sarcastic report card\u003cbr\u003e- cheerleader-inspired details\u003cbr\u003e- skull and school books\u003cbr\u003e- backpack and megaphone\u003cbr\u003e- pink, black and white colour palette\u003cbr\u003e- occult-style symbols and rebellious school details\u003cbr\u003e- comic-inspired graphic styling\u003cbr\u003eEqual parts school humour, attitude and questionable life choices.\u003cbr\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003cbr\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003cbr\u003e- Available in White, Black and Light Pink\u003cbr\u003e- Solid colours: 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e- White: 175 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Black \/ Light Pink: 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted women’s shape.\u003cbr\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003cbr\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003cbr\u003eCOLOURS\u003cbr\u003eWHITE\u003cbr\u003eThe white version gives the black outlines, hot pink details and darker artwork strong contrast for a bright, clean look.\u003cbr\u003eBLACK\u003cbr\u003eThe black version pushes the design further into the punk \/ alternative direction, with the pink and white elements standing out strongly against the dark fabric.\u003cbr\u003eLIGHT PINK\u003cbr\u003eThe light pink version leans fully into the chaotic school-girl aesthetic and works especially well with the black, white and hot-pink artwork.\u003cbr\u003ePlease select your preferred colour from the available listing options.\u003cbr\u003ePRINT\u003cbr\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the lettering, character details, report card, books and smaller graphic elements to reproduce clearly.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003cbr\u003eCARE\u003cbr\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eStraight A’s in bad decisions.\u003cbr\u003eAt least the laundry can still pass.\u003cbr\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003cbr\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check Etsy’s estimated delivery dates before ordering.\u003cbr\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003cbr\u003eStraight A’s in Bad Decisions is an original Bite Your Tongue concept combining sarcastic school humour, alternative fashion and loud comic-inspired styling.\u003cbr\u003eThe design plays on the contrast between academic achievement and spectacularly questionable choices, using a rebellious student character, report-card humour and chaotic school imagery.\u003cbr\u003eAI-assisted creative tools form part of our design process, alongside concept development, art direction, selection, refinement, correction and final preparation for print.\u003cbr\u003eEach finished artwork is developed as part of the Bite Your Tongue catalogue rather than uploaded as an unedited stock graphic.\u003cbr\u003eBITE YOUR TONGUE\u003cbr\u003eWear what you think.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bite Your Tongue","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ 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crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eSolid G5000 colours use 100% U.S. cotton, while Ash is 99% U.S. cotton \/ 1% polyester. 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Inkthreadable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic straight-cut unisex T-shirt, not a fitted women’s style.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer a more relaxed silhouette.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOURS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack gives the artwork its strongest contrast and makes the bright green details particularly vivid.\u003cbr\u003eTweed adds a softer heathered look and a more casual feel.\u003cbr\u003eRed creates a much louder version of the design, with the black Reaper artwork standing strongly against the fabric.\u003cbr\u003eMidnight offers a dark alternative to black while keeping the colourful food and green drink prominent.\u003cbr\u003ePlease select your preferred colour from the available listing options.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe 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sleep and lazy-day humour\u003cbr\u003eMotivation, technically.\u003cbr\u003eJust pointed in the direction of the bedroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- White and Light Pink\u003cbr\u003e- 100% U.S. cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 175 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a classic straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted fashion shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis version is printed on White, giving the orange, teal and darker outlines a clean, bright background and keeping the retro colour palette clear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the lettering, character details and smaller illustrated elements to reproduce clearly.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eFollow your dreams.\u003cbr\u003eThen follow the care label.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check Etsy’s estimated delivery dates before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFollow Your Dreams, Go Back to Bed is an original Bite Your Tongue concept combining motivational-language parody with sleepy everyday humour and retro cartoon styling.\u003cbr\u003eThe design takes a familiar inspirational phrase and gives it a much more achievable ending.\u003cbr\u003eAI-assisted creative tools form part of our design process, alongside concept development, art direction, selection, refinement, correction and final preparation for print.\u003cbr\u003eEach finished artwork is developed as part of the Bite Your Tongue catalogue rather than uploaded as an unedited stock graphic.\u003cbr\u003eBITE YOUR TONGUE\u003cbr\u003eWear what you think.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bite Your Tongue","offers":[{"title":"White \/ 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4X-Large","offer_id":59162834764040,"sku":"GD05-LPK-4XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":59162834796808,"sku":"GD05-LPK-5XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1072\/6866\/9704\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_27_Sept_2026_18_06_16-1.png?v=1793650601"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-free-orcasm-black-shirt-master-3780x5097-300dpi","title":"Free Orcasm T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eFunny orca T-shirt featuring the “Free Orcasm” Marine Relief Society design, printed on a black Gildan Heavy Cotton G5000 unisex tee.\u003cbr\u003eAt first glance, it looks like a perfectly respectable marine conservation organisation.\u003cbr\u003eThen you read the banner.\u003cbr\u003eFree Orcasm is part of our fake-institution style — a deliberately convincing wildlife charity graphic built around one extremely unnecessary orca pun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis artwork features:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- illustrated orca breaking through ocean water\u003cbr\u003e- circular Marine Relief Society crest\u003cbr\u003e- mountain and ocean scenery\u003cbr\u003e- laurel branches and vintage badge styling\u003cbr\u003e- bold “FREE ORCASM” banner\u003cbr\u003e- “Protect • Rehabilitate • Release” motto\u003cbr\u003e- “Est. 1987” detail\u003cbr\u003e- blue, cream and muted green colour palette\u003cbr\u003e- retro conservation \/ society emblem styling\u003cbr\u003eIt looks official.\u003cbr\u003eIt absolutely is not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted fashion shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis version is printed on Black, giving the cream lettering, ocean blues and muted green laurel details strong contrast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the small crest lettering, waves, mountain details and vintage badge elements to reproduce clearly.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eProtect the orcas.\u003cbr\u003eFree the orcasms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the estimated delivery date at checkout before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree Orcasm – Marine Relief Society is an original Bite Your Tongue concept from our fake-institution style of designs.\u003cbr\u003eThe idea is to create merchandise that initially looks like it belongs to a genuine club, charity or organisation — until the viewer actually reads the name.\u003cbr\u003eAI-assisted creative tools form part of our design process, alongside concept development, art direction, selection, refinement, correction and final preparation for print.\u003cbr\u003eEach finished artwork is developed as part of the Bite Your Tongue catalogue rather than uploaded as an unedited stock graphic.\u003cbr\u003eBITE YOUR TONGUE\u003cbr\u003eWear what you think.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bite Your Tongue","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":59162842104072,"sku":"GD05-BLK-S","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":59162842136840,"sku":"GD05-BLK-M","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":59162842169608,"sku":"GD05-BLK-L","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":59162842202376,"sku":"GD05-BLK-XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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stained-glass-inspired lettuce figure, hands folded in prayer, surrounded by ornate green and gold detailing.\u003cbr\u003eCompletely unnecessary. Completely committed to the pun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis artwork features:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- bold “LETTUCE PRAY” lettering\u003cbr\u003e- praying lettuce character\u003cbr\u003e- ornate halo and stained-glass-inspired frame\u003cbr\u003e- rich green and gold colour palette\u003cbr\u003e- vintage religious-art styling\u003cbr\u003e- detailed botanical illustration\u003cbr\u003e- absurd vegetable wordplay\u003cbr\u003eA very serious presentation of a deeply unserious joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- White\u003cbr\u003e- 100% U.S. cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 175 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted fashion shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis version is printed on White, giving the green lettuce artwork, gold details and black outlines a clean, bright background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the fine botanical details, lettering and ornate decorative elements to reproduce clearly.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eLettuce pray.\u003cbr\u003eThen lettuce wash responsibly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the estimated delivery date at checkout before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLettuce Pray is an original Bite Your Tongue concept combining food humour, ornate vintage illustration and deliberately over-serious religious-art styling.\u003cbr\u003eThe design takes a simple vegetable pun and presents it with far more ceremony than it deserves.\u003cbr\u003eAI-assisted 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2X-Large","offer_id":59179025629448,"sku":"GD05-WHI-2XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":59179025662216,"sku":"GD05-WHI-3XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":59179025694984,"sku":"GD05-WHI-4XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":59179025727752,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1072\/6866\/9704\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_27_Sept_2026_19_03_05-1.png?v=1793297724"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-my-body-is-a-temple-master-3780x5097-300dpi","title":"Body Positive Funny T-Shirt – My Body Is a Temple, Risk of Collapse Graphic Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eBody positive funny T-shirt featuring the “My Body Is a Temple – Risk of Collapse” design, printed on a white Gildan Heavy Cotton G5000 unisex tee.\u003cbr\u003eA sarcastic graphic shirt for anyone whose temple has seen better days — cracked columns, structural concerns and absolutely no intention of pretending otherwise.\u003cbr\u003eThe artwork combines a ruined classical column with a “DANGER – DO NOT ENTER – RISK OF COLLAPSE” warning sign underneath the oversized “MY BODY IS A TEMPLE” headline.\u003cbr\u003eAncient.\u003cbr\u003eMajestic.\u003cbr\u003eStructurally questionable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA self-deprecating take on the classic “my body is a temple” saying.\u003cbr\u003eInstead of marble perfection and spiritual enlightenment, this temple comes with:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- cracked stone\u003cbr\u003e- fallen masonry\u003cbr\u003e- weeds\u003cbr\u003e- a safety warning\u003cbr\u003e- and a fairly convincing argument for keeping the public out\u003cbr\u003eDesigned for people who appreciate dry humour, sarcasm and the increasingly ambitious maintenance requirements of the human body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- White: 100% U.S. cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 175 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight unisex cut rather than a fitted fashion silhouette.\u003cbr\u003eFor women, the shirt still keeps that classic straight-body shape rather than becoming a bodycon or women’s fitted tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer a looser feel.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering, especially if you are between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhite\u003cbr\u003eThe white fabric was chosen specifically for this version of the artwork because it keeps the black typography crisp while allowing the stone, moss, warning sign and distressed details to remain clearly visible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is applied using DTG printing, allowing the distressed textures, stone detail and small warning-sign elements to reproduce cleanly without the heavy feel of a large vinyl transfer.\u003cbr\u003eEach shirt is printed individually to order.\u003cbr\u003eBecause every garment is printed separately, very small variations in positioning or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eAir drying recommended.\u003cbr\u003eThe temple is already at risk of collapse.\u003cbr\u003eThere is no need to involve a 60°C wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eThis helps avoid unnecessary stock and allows us to offer original BYT designs without mass-producing piles of unwanted clothing.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the estimated delivery dates shown by Etsy before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy Body Is a Temple – Risk of Collapse is an original Bite Your Tongue concept built around a very simple question:\u003cbr\u003eWhat if your body really is a temple…\u0026lt;\/p\u0026gt;\u003cbr\u003e…but the council has already condemned it?\u003cbr\u003eThe design combines classical ruin imagery, construction-warning humour and dry self-deprecation 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U.S. cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 175 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a classic straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted women’s shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis version is printed on White, giving the burgundy lettering, black outlines and warm skin tones a clean, bright background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the facial details, lettering and smaller decorative elements to reproduce clearly.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eResting wife face.\u003cbr\u003eActive wine glass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, Inkthreadable.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the estimated delivery date at checkout before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eABOUT THE ARTWORK\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eResting Wife Face is an original Bite Your Tongue concept combining relationship humour, wine 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5X-Large","offer_id":59179250155784,"sku":"GD05-WHI-5XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1072\/6866\/9704\/files\/mockup-e52a59418626975a13c068fb2a98fceb.png?v=1792602665"},{"product_id":"gildan-heavy-cotton-t-shirt-sarcy-comment-loading-robot-black-shirt-master-3780x5097-300dpi","title":"Funny Sarcastic T-Shirt – Sarcy Comment Loading Robot Graphic Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eFunny sarcastic T-shirt featuring the “Sarcy Comment Loading…” robot graphic, printed on a Gildan Heavy Cotton G5000 unisex tee, available in Black, Fan Marine Green, Purple and Indigo.\u003cbr\u003eA deadpan retro robot patiently charging up its next sarcastic response — complete with a green loading bar stuck at 75%.\u003cbr\u003eThe design combines dry humour, vintage-tech styling and bold distressed typography for a graphic that reads instantly on black fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSarcy Comment Loading…\u0026lt;\/strong\u0026gt; is built for people whose internal sarcasm processor is permanently running in the background.\u003cbr\u003eThe artwork features:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- retro-style metal robot\u003cbr\u003e- blank, unimpressed expression\u003cbr\u003e- green 75% loading bar\u003cbr\u003e- distressed cream typography\u003cbr\u003e- bold SARCY COMMENT LOADING…\u0026lt;\/strong\u0026gt; lettering\u003cbr\u003e- black, cream, grey and green colour palette\u003cbr\u003e- dry sarcastic humour\u003cbr\u003ePlease wait.\u003cbr\u003eUnnecessary comment processing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Black, Purple, Fan Marine Green and Indigo\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton\u003cbr\u003e- 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted fashion shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering. Measurements are provided in centimetres and inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOUR\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack only.\u003cbr\u003eThe black fabric gives the cream lettering and metallic robot strong contrast, while the green loading bar provides the only bright colour accent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the distressed lettering, metallic texture and smaller robot details to reproduce directly into the garment without the heavy feel of a large vinyl transfer.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small variations in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eSarcasm may operate at high temperatures.\u003cbr\u003eThe print 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that takes several centuries to set up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE DESIGN\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eConquered Half the World for the Spices – Refused to Use Them combines:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- vintage British explorer artwork\u003cbr\u003e- Union Jack details\u003cbr\u003e- sacks of spices and herbs\u003cbr\u003e- retro cream and gold typography\u003cbr\u003e- distressed poster-style illustration\u003cbr\u003e- dry British history humour\u003cbr\u003e- warm red, gold, beige and brown tones\u003cbr\u003eThe result is deliberately over-the-top vintage imperial imagery used as the setup for a very British food joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-SHIRT DETAILS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the Gildan Heavy Cotton T-Shirt G5000.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Classic unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e- Midweight fabric\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neck\u003cbr\u003e- Taped neck and shoulders\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular body\u003cbr\u003e- Twin-needle sleeves and bottom hem\u003cbr\u003e- High-detail DTG print\u003cbr\u003e- Printed individually to order\u003cbr\u003eColour-specific fabric:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- Navy: 100% cotton, 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Military Green: 100% cotton, 185 gsm\u003cbr\u003e- Graphite Heather: 50% cotton \/ 50% polyester, 185 gsm Inkthreadable\u003cbr\u003eThe G5000 has a traditional straight-cut unisex silhouette rather than a fitted fashion shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFIT \u0026amp; SIZING\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a classic unisex fit.\u003cbr\u003eChoose your usual size for a standard fit, or size up if you prefer something more relaxed.\u003cbr\u003ePlease check the size guide in the listing images before ordering. Measurements are provided in centimetres and inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCOLOURS\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in:\u003cbr\u003eNavy – deep blue with strong contrast against the cream, red and gold artwork.\u003cbr\u003eMilitary Green – an earthy olive-green option that works especially well with the vintage explorer and spice-market palette.\u003cbr\u003eGraphite Heather – a charcoal-grey heather with a softer, more casual texture and slightly different fabric composition.\u003cbr\u003eBecause Graphite Heather is a cotton\/polyester blend, its surface and finished print appearance may vary slightly from the solid cotton colours. Inkthreadable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINT\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe artwork is applied using DTG printing, allowing the small spice details, facial features, vintage lettering and colour transitions to reproduce without the heavy feel of a large vinyl transfer.\u003cbr\u003eEach garment is printed individually to order, so very small differences in placement or colour may occur.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCARE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash inside out at 30°C.\u003cbr\u003eWash with similar colours.\u003cbr\u003eDo not bleach.\u003cbr\u003eDo not tumble dry.\u003cbr\u003eDo not iron directly over the artwork.\u003cbr\u003eCenturies of global spice trade went into this joke.\u003cbr\u003ePlease don’t ruin it in one hot wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMADE TO ORDER\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is produced specifically after an order is placed.\u003cbr\u003eProduction and fulfilment are handled by our UK production partner, 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